The Best Friends You Didn’t Know You Had

It was January 2019. I found myself on a stunning beach, waves gently rolling over my feet, watching whales play in the distance. Yet, despite the beauty, I was sobbing, overcome with fear and discomfort.

A month earlier, somewhat spontaneously, I’d registered for a two-week retreat in Baja, Mexico. It was a bold decision given that I didn’t really have the money to spare. Plus, it meant taking two weeks off from work, something I’d never done before. The retreat also required a commitment to a completely tech-free experience—no phone, no emails, for two whole weeks, except for one day in the middle.

As tears streamed down my face, I kept asking myself, “What have I done?” and “How did I get here?” Though the decision had felt right at the time, standing on that beautiful beach left me feeling scared, vulnerable, and deeply uncomfortable.

Fast forward five years, and I can say those two weeks were life-changing. The retreat was exactly where I was supposed to be, guiding me to make intentional choices that have led to a life I love. This extreme example highlights how fear and discomfort, when embraced, can move us closer to what we want. 

Yet, this is only one example; I can name a dozen choices I have made that, while feeling fear and discomfort, moved me forward towards everything I want. 

Examples of Embracing Fear Through Life’s Choices

1. Solo Vacation Post-Divorce

After my divorce almost two decades ago, I chose to go on my very first solo vacation to ski in Aspen. I had never traveled alone, and the minute my flight took off, I was flooded with paralyzing fear and discomfort. I couldn’t believe that I had gotten on a plane to go on a ski trip by myself…for a week! 

I could barely breathe and seriously thought about turning around and flying home. 

Yet, one week later I was transformed. It was a trip I will never forget and gave me the energy, confidence and courage that I needed to reimagine my new life. You know how the saying goes, What happens in Aspen, stays in Aspen!

2. Moving Across the Country

In January 2020, I moved from Connecticut to Florida, a decision that caused immense fear and discomfort. Almost immediately, I realized it wasn’t the right place for me; and just 18 months later, I moved again, this time to Colorado, knowing no one. Despite the fear, Colorado has been the perfect place for me, and I’ve never, ever been happier.

3. Enrolling in Wilderness Trekking School

Two years ago, I enrolled in The Wilderness Trekking School, a five-month program teaching safe hiking in the Rockies. It was an experience filled with fear and discomfort, yet it turned out to be one of the most fun and rewarding experiences of my life. I did things I never imagined I would have the courage to do, it was amazing. And as an added benefit, I met one of my newest, dearest friends through the program.

Fear and discomfort are signals that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone and into a space where growth happens. Stretching into these uncomfortable places is where magic occurs, moving you closer to your goals and dreams.

When you have moments that feel like the wind has been knocked out of you and leave you wondering how you got there, remember to breathe and trust in the journey. 

Be curious.

Be open.

Be ready to embrace possibility.

Here are some questions to help you reflect on your relationship with fear and discomfort:

• Where in your life are you feeling fear or discomfort?

• Are there choices you’re contemplating but resisting?

• What would happen if you set down your fear and instead surrendered and trusted the unfolding?

I created Unfolding as an invitation to stretch beyond your comfort zone. To feel uncomfortable in service of becoming more open to what’s possible and learning to trust and surrender during times of uncertainty.

Fear and discomfort can indeed be your best friends, guiding you to a life filled with joy, freedom, and fulfillment. I hope you will share your experiences, I want to know how they have helped to shape your journey. 

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