The Ripple
The truth about how every choice you make shapes your life in powerful and unimaginable ways.
Coming Clean
I recently realized that I haven’t been sharing as openly and honestly as I have in the past.
In talking with my boyfriend Andy recently about the choice to be transparent and vulnerable online, I reflected on my own posts over the past year or so and became aware that I have not been as raw and real as I once was.
And it got me thinking.
I pride myself on sharing the truth of how things really are (at their best and worst), while at the same time holding hope and optimism.
And I am a believer in what’s possible, even in the darkest of times.
Yet, lately, I haven’t given you the honest truth about what it really looks like to hold both of these.
Or what it really looks like to walk in the reality of our lives when it is messy, uncomfortable and uncertain.
I never want to be misleading,
or give any impression that life, and choosing to live with intention, is easy.
Because it’s not.
It is hard, messy, glorious, and unpredictable.
I choose to share my journey openly and with full transparency because I know that while my life experiences are unique to me, in many ways they are also universal; we all have a version of good times and bad, our own transitions, and our own challenges and adversity.
At the same time, we are not in competition. Our own experience does not have to be worse than, or better than, anyone else’s; each person has their own set of circumstances that is uniquely theirs. It is on each and every one of us to embody compassion, empathy and understanding; knowing that every person is moving through life with experiences that you most likely don’t know and shouldn’t judge.
Rather, I stand firmly committed to supporting women as they move through their own unfolding journey; and to bringing women together to witness and support each other as they navigate the turbulence of their lives and reimagine what’s possible.
The Truth of Living with Intention
So let me remind you of what truth and transparency look like.
Research suggests that you are going to make between 27,000 - 35,000 choices every day. Some little, some big; and you are going to be virtually unaware of many of them.
But, every choice we make,
whether intentional or not;
every challenge we face,
and every experience we embrace,
creates a ripple.
Some ripples are barely noticeable, others are like massive tidal waves of transformation.
Some are ripples of joy and abundance, others bring pain and destruction with them.
Some result in loss, others invite possibility and opportunity.
All of them shape our lives.
Each ripple leads to a new choice, a new experience, a new opportunity and sometimes, a new challenge.
Ripples have no beginning and no end.
There is no there there.
There is only an unfolding.
What I’ve Learned
Many of you know my story.
20 years ago I got divorced. The ripples from that choice were far greater than I ever could have imagined. It was the beginning of a journey that has led me to today.
It has been a really hard, really amazing couple of decades. As I reflect back, there have been so very many moments of joy and exhilaration, and so many moments of pain and suffering.
From the outside, my life today looks amazing. In fact, I hear often from friends and family that I am lucky to be living my best life.
It is true, I am living my best life.
At 57, I have never been happier.
But luck had nothing to do with it.
And despite living my best life,
I continue to face new challenges, new kinds of sorrow, and new possibilities.
From where I stood each and every day since my divorce 20 years ago, I could not have seen what would come next. As I navigated my different ages and stages, it was important that I stayed present and in the moment, focusing only on making what I thought were the best choices I could make on any given day.
Some of my choices caused tiny, barely perceptible ripples.
Others created massive ripples (often feeling like tidal waves!) resulting in dismantling/transformation that caused me pain.
Yet others produced ripples that were instrumental in opening doors to possibilities that were well outside of my imagination.
Regardless of the ripple, I made the commitment to myself to keep moving forward making the best possible choices I could each day. And little by little, one day and one choice at a time, I arrived here.
I will share more about the many choices and different kinds of ripples that I have experienced over time through my writing; because I would never want you to think that the journey has been a straight line that was clear, or easy.
As you move along your own journey, I invite you to stay present in what is true for you today.
Make the best choices you can in this moment,
and trust that it is all unfolding as it is meant.
Your best life is out there waiting for you, no matter how long it takes.
Trust me.
Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.
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