Curating Friendships: How Relationships Evolve, Like Your Wardrobe

Dec 12

Discover how friendships, like fashion, require care, reflection, and the occasional refresh to fit each stage of your life.

Friendships shape our lives in profound ways, much like our wardrobes. Over time, we accumulate friends just as we collect clothes—each serving a purpose for different stages of life. Some friends are timeless staples, while others might have been just right for a specific moment but no longer fit. This analogy got me thinking: What if we treated our friendships like our closet, taking stock, organizing, and making sure we have the right mix for where we are in life?

Like our clothes, friendships aren’t one-size-fits-all. Some friendships are lifelong treasures, while others serve their purpose during specific seasons. So, let’s take a walk through the metaphorical closet of friendships, exploring how each type fits into the different ages and stages of our lives.

Childhood Friends: The T-Shirt from Your First Concert

Childhood friends are like that beloved, worn-out concert t-shirt. They've been with you through thick and thin, before you even knew who you’d become. These are the people who saw you in your awkward pre-teen phase, knew your early dreams, and have the kind of shared history that can’t be replicated. Like that old t-shirt, there’s a comforting familiarity in these friendships. You may not wear it often, but it holds a special place in your heart and represents a time in your life you can never forget.

Why they matter:
Childhood friends remind us of where we came from. Even if you don’t see them all the time, they hold a piece of your past that no one else can truly understand.

College Friends: Your Favorite Pair of Vintage Jeans

College friends are like those vintage jeans you swear you’ll never part with. They were there through some of the most transformative years of your life. Whether you were dealing with young adult relationships, figuring out your career path, or just trying to understand who you were, these friends were part of the journey. Like your jeans, they’ve seen you at your best—and your worst—but there’s a sense of nostalgia that makes you want to keep them close.

Why they matter:
These friends connect you to your coming-of-age story. Even if you only catch up now and then, they hold a special place in your history. They represent who you were becoming, which is just as important as who you are now.

Adult Friends: The Core Wardrobe Pieces

Most of the friends we make in adulthood are like the bulk of our wardrobe—reliable, versatile, and practical. These are often friendships that form because of shared circumstances: work, kids, social groups, or other community ties. Some of these friends will stay with you for the long haul, like your favorite blazer that never goes out of style. Others might be more temporary—friends you see at events but don’t necessarily have a deep connection with. That’s okay. Not every friend has to be a soulmate.

Why they matter:
Adult friends add richness to your daily life. Whether they’re the ones you vent to after a long day, go to for advice, or simply enjoy socializing with, they help keep you grounded in the here and now.

Midlife Friends: The Precious Investment Pieces

As we enter midlife, new friendships can be a bit like splurging on a high-quality coat or designer handbag. These relationships require an investment of time, vulnerability, and openness, especially as life becomes more complex. Whether you’re making friends because of a divorce, a new job, or simply moving to a new town, these friendships can feel awkward at first, like breaking in a new pair of shoes. But, when they click, they often last for the long haul, providing warmth and support through the challenges of midlife.

Why they matter:
These friendships are built on shared life experiences, like navigating career changes, family dynamics, or personal growth. They often have a depth and intimacy that older friendships may not, simply because they understand where you are right now.

Transitional Friends: That Outlandish Outfit You Can’t Believe You Bought

We’ve all had friends that entered our lives during a significant transition—perhaps during a job change, a divorce, or an unexpected life twist or loss. These friends are like that wild outfit you bought on impulse—perfect for that moment but maybe not something you’d wear every day. They served a vital role when you needed them most, offering support during a specific chapter. While they may not be around forever, their impact can be lasting.

Why they matter:
These friendships are often fleeting but essential. They show up when you’re at a crossroads, helping you through a difficult time or teaching you an important lesson, even if they don’t stick around for the next chapter.

Curating Your Friendship Closet

Just as we regularly declutter our closets, it’s essential to take stock of our friendships. Are there friends who no longer fit into your life, or ones who consistently drain your energy? It doesn’t mean you have to cut people out coldly, but it’s worth asking yourself if the friendship is still serving you—or if it's time to make room for something new.

Here are a few things to consider when taking stock of your friendship closet:

Do they bring out the best in you?
Just as a well-fitting dress makes you feel confident and powerful, the right friends should inspire you to be your best self.
Do you feel supported and understood?
Much like your most reliable pair of shoes, your closest friends should make you feel comfortable and understood, no matter the situation.
Are they a seasonal fit or a timeless piece?
Some friends are like summer dresses—perfect for certain seasons but not necessarily a year-round staple. And that’s okay! But it’s important to know the difference between a seasonal friendship and one built to last.
Can you truly be yourself?
The best friendships are like your favorite sweatpants—comfortable, non-judgmental, and a place where you can be 100% yourself.

Making Space for New Connections

Just as you’d make space in your wardrobe for new pieces, it’s important to keep your social life open to new friendships. This is especially true as life changes, whether through career shifts, moving, or personal growth. Being open to new connections can lead to friendships that enrich your life in ways you hadn’t imagined.

At any given time, your friendship wardrobe will likely contain a mix of all these different kinds of friends. The key is balance. Just as you wouldn’t want a closet full of only casual wear or only formal attire, you want a diverse mix of friendships that fulfill different parts of your emotional and social needs.

In the end, friendships are much like fashion—they evolve, change, and sometimes require a good spring cleaning. But with the right mix, they’ll always make you feel like the best version of yourself.

So, how’s your friendship closet looking? Maybe it’s time for a little refresh!