The Kernel of Truth

Embracing Growth - The Power of Finding the Kernel of Truth

Last week I was talking to a dear friend and colleague about a workshop she had given for a group of extraordinary women leaders in a company that she absolutely loves working with. She sent out her post-session survey as she usually does, and had just read through the results which were (almost) all amazing. They absolutely raved about her, the value of the session, and how much they enjoyed the experience.

At the same time, there were a couple of survey results that offered her constructive feedback about the activities in the workshop, and one that not only expressed dissatisfaction but also questioned the value of the workshop altogether.  

Despite all of the amazing feedback, she was really upset by these few that stood out and that were not quite as complimentary. 

As we talked, I asked her to consider what the kernel of truth might be. 

She looked at me inquisitively and asked me what I meant. 

One of the things that allows us to grow is being open to and seeking the kernel of truth. 

The Journey to Growth through Feedback

As we move along our lives, we will inevitably experience something unexpected that doesn’t feel good.


Perhaps we are hurt by it,

we don’t agree with,

or we are heartbroken from it. 

It could be an unexpected breakup, not getting the job, receiving constructive feedback, or engaging in a heated debate or disagreement. Usually, we are left feeling bad or unsettled. 

And yet, as we lick our wounds and work to soothe our hurt hearts, we also have the opportunity to seek the kernel of truth. 

There is always a kernel of truth, even when we resist seeing it. 

Finding the Kernel of Truth

The kernel of truth, while sometimes hard to acknowledge, is a catalyst for transformation, happiness, peace, and prosperity. It's easy to overlook this kernel, especially if we justify our behavior, or dismiss the possibility that we have something to learn. However, honesty with oneself about these kernels, even in the context of a seemingly faultless or successful situation, can unveil insights crucial for our growth.

For instance, a dispute with a friend, colleague, or family member might not seem like your fault on the surface, and you may move quickly into acting defensive or with righteous indignation (can you relate??). Yet, is it possible that there is a sliver of truth in the exchange worth reflecting on? 

There always is.

A Personal Reflection

As my friend and I continued our conversation, she took a few minutes to reflect on the feedback. She then confessed that one of the exercises she had chosen to do with the group was one that she had considered not doing because she wasn’t sure that it was the right experience for this particular workshop. Yet, she had chosen to do it anyway because she didn’t have enough time to design something different. 

We talked through it together, and I suggested that she not only offer herself grace for doing her best, but that she think about what might have been an even stronger activity/exercise for the next time. 

This moment of introspection and acceptance of the kernel of truth not only offered her peace but also paved the way for an improved future workshop, highlighting the transformative power of embracing the opportunity for growth with grace and openness.

Seeking the kernel of truth is not about dwelling on criticism, diminishing the value of our efforts or defending ourselves. Instead, it's about recognizing these kernels as opportunities for evolution, self-improvement, and ultimately, a more fulfilling journey through life and career. By balancing the act of honoring the good while being open to constructive insights, we can navigate life's complexities with greater wisdom and resilience.


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